Another One Down

Holy crap.

I cannot believe that we have finished another semester. I feel like I have been in school forever.

I finished with good grades, good friends, and a good plan for my life.

Am I still floundering a little? Sure am.

Is that okay? Sure is. It keeps life interesting.

A little update:

• We won 2/3 games in our spring tournament. I had two goals scored on me, and I am a little salty about it. It’s okay. I felt myself grow a lot this spring season and I am so darn excited for the fall. 
• I’ve been teaching mission prep for the stake. I love it. I miss being a missionary and getting to teach gospel truths 24/7. 
• My car windshield was shattered by a soccer ball punted up by someone on the men’s team
• I have a couple new favorite routes that I love to run (mainly the Chessie Trail, except that it smells like cow crap on the regular)
• I’m moving back into the Grawrock’s basement this next week *stoked*
• I PRd my back squat and front squat
• Arizona and I made plans for a trip to LA in August
• I see Sierra and her baby in two weeks 
• I’ve got a lot of work this summer to get fit for fall, and I want 100% of my downtime this spring semester to be dedicated to fitness, and adventure. 
• I’m stoked and *scared* for summer term, but I think I’ll love it. I will just have to get a little bit out of my comfort zone to be friends with people 
• Spikeball is a new favorite thing of mine
• Guys, Virginia is GREEN. Like, overwhelmingly green and it fillllls my cup with joy
• I went to the DC zoo, and purchased the best crepe I have ever had in my life, and I love the zoo. I got to go on behind the scenes tour with a reptile keeper. Super cool. Although I think reptiles are stinky and smelly. 
• Competed in powederpuff and won 
• Two months until DISNEYLAND 🐀. 

 I feel like I am doing well spiritually, emotionally, mentally, intellectually. It’s been a heck of a semester, I’ve had to push through dark doubts, personal hurdles of self-improvement

I’m ready to graduate, but I am determined to enjoy the rest of the journey, wherever it leads me.

My body HURTS

Hi friends. Or maybe not nessecarily “friends” because I’m pretty sure my mom is the only person who reads this.

Anyway.

Besides the point.

We are two weeks into the spring soccer season. And after that first week I was positive that this was yet to be the most painful and humiliating spring soccer season that I had every participated in.

I wake up sore almost every day.

There was one day that between classes, work, and soccer, I was gone from 8am that morning until 8:45 that night. I was dead. I was exhausted. I had been 100% ripped to shreds at practice, verge of emotional breakdown and I was done. I tried to keep it together but exhaustion pushed the emotion to the surface and tears of frustration, and irritation exploded on the drive home.

It’s okay though.

I think that I got a lot of things out of my system that have been there for a while. I felt a lot better the next day after a good night’s sleep.

And you know.

At the high shool practice one of the girl’s had a breakdown. We were working hard. They had conditioned hard. We were expecting mental toughness. And this girl had reached her limit. There was nothing left for her to give. As a coach, it made me so proud to see this girl give everything she had to the game. She had these sobs that were making their way through her labored breaths. Ironically enough, I found myself tellling her all the things that I needed to hear.

Being an athlete is hard. It takes your time. It’s physically demanding. It’s mentally exhausting. And your emotions get dragged along with it. Prioritizing your time becomes a sport in and of itself. It is okay to be tired. It’s okay to want to succeed.

If only I could believe myself more.

Spring forward to the end of the second week of spring soccer season and I remember all of the reasons I loved the sport in the first place. I think I am in such a better place mentally. Compared to myself four years ago, I have made leaps and bounds of progress- although there is still so much more.

I have a mental fight with myself every practice because I want to be successful. I want to be the best. I want my teammates to want me on their team. I also recognize that in order to have success you have to love the process and be hungry for change. And I feel like that’s where I am at. I love the work. I love the process. I just need it every day. I don’t like that there is a large summer break before I get to return and play my last season. I don’t like that it is just spring season. Although, I am beyond grateful for this time given to grow, change, and become a better athlete, I want more.

Ah.

Life is good.

I’m grateful.

Like.

Whoever would have thought that I would be playing college soccer?

I just feel so incredibly grateful that I get to be a member of the SVU women’s soccer program. I am oh so grateful for the coaches I have had throughout the years. I am 100 % grateful to Coach Kenzie Cox.

This opportunity has helped me is so many ways. There is something about the game that pushes your limits to show what you are really made of.

Anyway.

Until next time friends.

Here are so throwback pictures for you, because, why not?