I fail.
A lot.
I make the same mistakes over and over again.
I say things I regret.
I think things that I shouldn't, and I am constantly doing things that disappoint my Savior.
And let me tell you. The burden of sin is so real.
I felt like Peter. I felt like I was walking on water... and then I faltered in faith and action. The only difference is that I had put an anchor of sin around my neck and I was allowing it to drag me down. I was drowning. It got to a point where I felt my lungs were filling with water and there was no turning back. I had built a two layer brick wall around my heart and every time the Spirit or the Savior tried to tear a brick down, I just put another layer up. But let me tell you something.
The Savior dove in after me. He swam to the bottom and extended his hand towards me- desperately wanting me to reach out to him.
But I had to let him grab me.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in this most recent general conference: "It matters not how completely ruined our lives may seem. It matters not how scarlet our sins, how deep our bitterness, how lonely, abandoned, or broken our hearts may be. Even those who are without hope, who live in despair, who have betrayed trust, surrendered their integrity, or turned away from God can be rebuilt... There is no life so shattered that it cannot be restored."
He DOVE in after me! Why me? What was so special about me? Why did I... a sinner deserve any of it? It took me a while, but I finally realized that I am a daughter of God, and only Jesus Christ understands the love that my Heavenly Father has for me because he suffered for and in that love. He did it because he loves me. I am loved by the Great Shepherd. And I could rejoice from the top of my lungs knowing that fact.
The power of prayer is so real.
It all starts with prayer and a want to change. Praying desperately. A literal wrestle with God as I tried to right my wrongs. Crying on my knees to Him because of my shortcomings. Crying to Him in gratitude for his love. Crying in love to Him for willingly diving in after me. He already suffered. He already paid the price. A debt that I could not repay.
I rolled out of bed in the mornings and muttered that half-awake but heartfelt prayer. I collapsed on my knees in the evenings and plead to the Father to feel his love and forgiveness. I was actually trying to maintain a relationship with the Savior and my Father in Heaven. It made all the difference.
Later in that talk by President Uchtdorf he says, "The joyous news of the gospel is this: because of the eternal plan of happiness provided by our loving Heavenly Father and through the infinite sacrifice of Jesus the Christ, we can not only be redeemed form our fallen state and restored to purity, but we can also transcend mortal imagination and become heirs of eternal life and partakers of God's indescribable glory"
Indescribably glory.
What does that even mean? Oh man but do I want that! I want to be joyous in Heaven surrounded by family and My loving Older Brother. I can have that! The atonement makes that possible. He can and does restore us! We can have all of the blessings that the Father has in store for us. We just have to put in the effort. I am a living testimony!
Scripture study came next. Along with the desperate longing for answers to prayers, my understanding of the scriptures increased immensely. I no longer saw scripture study as a burden. I started to see certain verses stick out and it seemed that for the first time-- they actually applied personally to my life. It was wonderful.
I always loved institute, but now-- it started to make a difference in my life. Phrases of action would stand out and the Lord was showing me the things that I needed to change.
I had never felt so excited for general conference.
I had made a change in my life. All because I decided to humble myself and accept the gift and sacrifice that my Savior had already offered for me.
How could I let his already paid sacrifice be in vain?
A lot.
I make the same mistakes over and over again.
I say things I regret.
I think things that I shouldn't, and I am constantly doing things that disappoint my Savior.
And let me tell you. The burden of sin is so real.
I felt like Peter. I felt like I was walking on water... and then I faltered in faith and action. The only difference is that I had put an anchor of sin around my neck and I was allowing it to drag me down. I was drowning. It got to a point where I felt my lungs were filling with water and there was no turning back. I had built a two layer brick wall around my heart and every time the Spirit or the Savior tried to tear a brick down, I just put another layer up. But let me tell you something.The Savior dove in after me. He swam to the bottom and extended his hand towards me- desperately wanting me to reach out to him.
But I had to let him grab me.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in this most recent general conference: "It matters not how completely ruined our lives may seem. It matters not how scarlet our sins, how deep our bitterness, how lonely, abandoned, or broken our hearts may be. Even those who are without hope, who live in despair, who have betrayed trust, surrendered their integrity, or turned away from God can be rebuilt... There is no life so shattered that it cannot be restored."
He DOVE in after me! Why me? What was so special about me? Why did I... a sinner deserve any of it? It took me a while, but I finally realized that I am a daughter of God, and only Jesus Christ understands the love that my Heavenly Father has for me because he suffered for and in that love. He did it because he loves me. I am loved by the Great Shepherd. And I could rejoice from the top of my lungs knowing that fact.
The power of prayer is so real.
It all starts with prayer and a want to change. Praying desperately. A literal wrestle with God as I tried to right my wrongs. Crying on my knees to Him because of my shortcomings. Crying to Him in gratitude for his love. Crying in love to Him for willingly diving in after me. He already suffered. He already paid the price. A debt that I could not repay.
I rolled out of bed in the mornings and muttered that half-awake but heartfelt prayer. I collapsed on my knees in the evenings and plead to the Father to feel his love and forgiveness. I was actually trying to maintain a relationship with the Savior and my Father in Heaven. It made all the difference.
Later in that talk by President Uchtdorf he says, "The joyous news of the gospel is this: because of the eternal plan of happiness provided by our loving Heavenly Father and through the infinite sacrifice of Jesus the Christ, we can not only be redeemed form our fallen state and restored to purity, but we can also transcend mortal imagination and become heirs of eternal life and partakers of God's indescribable glory"
Indescribably glory.
What does that even mean? Oh man but do I want that! I want to be joyous in Heaven surrounded by family and My loving Older Brother. I can have that! The atonement makes that possible. He can and does restore us! We can have all of the blessings that the Father has in store for us. We just have to put in the effort. I am a living testimony!
Scripture study came next. Along with the desperate longing for answers to prayers, my understanding of the scriptures increased immensely. I no longer saw scripture study as a burden. I started to see certain verses stick out and it seemed that for the first time-- they actually applied personally to my life. It was wonderful.
I always loved institute, but now-- it started to make a difference in my life. Phrases of action would stand out and the Lord was showing me the things that I needed to change.
I had never felt so excited for general conference.
I had made a change in my life. All because I decided to humble myself and accept the gift and sacrifice that my Savior had already offered for me.
How could I let his already paid sacrifice be in vain?
"Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwind, yeah when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."
~Helaman 5:12~
Hey Uri.... I needed this today. Thanks. I love ya.
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